We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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