I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize