im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
