where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
