I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
