i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize