would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize