my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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