Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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