hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
