glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
