Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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