just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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