Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
