he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
