and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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