i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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