you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
