It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
