if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
