Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
