I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
