why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Randomize