Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
