I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My liver just had a heart attack.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
