A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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