yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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