So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
