Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
