The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize