Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just want nice things and good sex
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
