too bad you live with your parents still
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So much Jack, so little girl.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
