This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
