I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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