She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize