how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
