Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
