I'm jealous of your bromance
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
