I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize