I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
