Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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