You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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