Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
