just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
