Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
