There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Green mimosas i think yes
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
