Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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