He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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