from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
