im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
