you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
