I murdered the dance floor call the cops
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
