He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
