You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
