My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
