i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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