Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
