One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize