I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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