I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
zippers are such a cool invention
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
