can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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