there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
